Saturday, February 10, 2007

Classy

The following is an excerpt from a recent late-night (approx. 2:30-3:00 am) text convo with BFF Matt:

BFF Matt: Every once in a while, when I start to feel like maybe I can get used to this place,* I end up in a bathroom stall with a guy throwing up on my left and a couple getting it on to my right... What the fuck am I doing here?

Me: Wait...were you pooping? Why were you in a stall?

BFF Matt: Of course... I was going number 2!

Me: At a bar?!

BFF Matt: You know I have irregular bowel movements...it's out of my hands, or maybe my pants...

Me: This is going in the blog.

*BFF Matt lives in Vegas, where he is Teaching for America...

The next day I received a call from him. He wanted to clarify that the bar that he had been at was in The New Frontier Hotel & Casino and featured a midnight bikini mechanical bull riding contest and copious line dancing. I think this was supposed to justify his actions, but really, I think it only makes it worse...

5 comments:

Matt said...

Thanks for sharing this with everyone, Alejandra. More specifically, I was at Gilley's Saloon, Dance Hall and Bar-B-Que (http://www.gilleyslv.com/) and I would be more than happy to take you there when you visit.

It looks like besides the Bikini Bull Ride, they feature actual mud wrestling on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Sadly, I missed that (although, I thought that was only something that happened in bad middle America movies...oh wait, I am in one.)

Needless to say, this locale for the night out was not my choice...

Alejandra said...

Anytime! :)

OMG...I just clicked on that link. I seriously hope that place was chosen with a healthy dose of irony.

Ugh, please come home. Like, now. You need a cultural intervention...

Monica said...

why do you always ask people if they've been pooping? It's a delicate thing you know.

Alejandra said...

I don't always ask people that! Matt is a very specific exception, and that's because he has always been weirdly open about absolutely everything (bodily functions included). At first I thought it was weird, but now I just think it's totally normal from him.

alaina said...

i have a photo of matt on the toilet reading a magazine, and it would be a perfect visual aid for this post, but unfortunately i didn't bring it with me so i can't send it along. damn missed opportunities!

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