My Google Resume

Inspired by the brilliance that is my virtual friend Mike’s web log, I’ve decided to create my own Google Resume. A Google Resume is essentially what my potential employers would find out about “my” history if they were to search for my name on Google.

[Please note that I omitted all actual references to me as they were boring and really only revealed that I like to write, I frequent nerdy web forums, I participate in a couple multi-player alternate reality and role-playing games, and am available for babysitting on nights and weekends (Se Habla Espanol) (E Italiano).]

Education

-In June 2001, when I was a university student in Santiago, Chile, I posted an open notice on the International Jesuit Alumni Society indicating that I was interested in studying abroad during something called “pregrade” and looking for a “friend in Europe with an e-mail address.” I apparently don’t have very high standards when it comes to new friends. Especially European ones…

-I graduated from Chaffey High School in 2001 and am currently attending UC Riverside.

Hobbies and Extra-Curricular Activities

- For the past year I’ve dedicated myself to the art of photography. I photograph mostly cats and shadows, and occasionally I’ll combine the two (as demonstrated in my series “Cat Shadows”). I find cats and shadows mysterious and suggestive…much like myself. I’m very deep and brooding. I probably like to hang out in cafes.

-An active member of the San Pasqual High School chapter of Students Against Destructive Decisions, or SADD, I participated in a march to City Hall on Wednesday. I’m trying to motivate other kids to make good decisions and stay away from drugs. I have very few friends and am rarely invited to the “cool” parties.

-I have been modeling since the age of 10 and recently appeared on the cover of the book, titled: “How to Realize your True Beauty in just Ten Easy Minutes of Make-Up Application.” I am currently writing my own book, titled: “Why is the Title of this Book so Freaking Long?”

Honors and Publications

-Between 1983 and 1990, I represented Chile at the Ibero American Championships, a biennial track and field event for "Spain, Portugal, and Spanish or Portuguese speaking nations in the Americas." During this time I won 3 silver medals and 2 gold medals in the 1500 meter dash. Sometimes, I like to wear them all at the same time for added “bling” factor as I roam the streets of my native Chile.

-In early 2006, I published a paper titled, “Medicinal chemistry applied to a synthetic protein: Development of highly potent HIV entry inhibitors.” I’m fairly certain that nobody actually ever read it.

International Experience

-I was born 19 years ago in Lima, Peru.

-On November 26, 1979, when I was still a minor, I was hospitalized in Venezuela with serious lesions and other grave injuries, the cause of which remain unknown.

-I am an actress, director, and acting coach at the Espacio Pata de Ganso in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have starred in a number of theater productions including Chekhov’s The Three Sisters, Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and Antigone. (Espacio Pata de Ganso means “Goose Leg Theater” in Spanish.)

Family Connections and Background

-When I was 14, my wealthy, traditional Mexican parents hired a very non-traditional Colombian drag queen to choreograph my Quinceanera and teach my baggy-pant-wearing friends how to waltz. He encouraged me to act “feminine,” with such helpful tips as “spit out that gum” and “stick your tits out.”

-I am the daughter of the first female Chief Justice of the Nicaraguan Supreme Court.


Overall, I'd say that according to Google I'm a pretty good hire. I'm beautiful, athletic, artistic, and socially conscious. I have a mind for science, a strong command of the Spanish language, and my parents are pretty well-connected. Oh...and I'm drug free!

What does your Google Resume reveal about you?