The Date Lab Article

For the past several Saturdays, I’ve been slipping out of my apartment early in the morning and creeping down the hall to steal the Washington Post Magazine (and, ok, sometimes I take the comics too) from one of my neighbors. Still in pajamas, I run back into my apartment as noiselessly as possible, and breeze through the Georgetown restaurant reviews and stories about flu vaccines, anxiously searching for the Date Lab column.

I’ve been anticipating the publication of the story about my date for some time now. When the freelance writer who had been assigned to our story called me three weeks ago to ask for an update she mentioned that the article would be published “any day now.” So I wasn’t that surprised this morning when I opened up the magazine and found myself smiling back up at me. “Oh great,” I thought as I read the subtitle: “She’s a food lover who attended culinary school. He’s a devoted calorie-watcher. Drat.”

As a writer, I understand the need to create a character in order to tell a story. However, I must admit that this was my biggest concern about the article. “How are they going to paint me,” I wondered, thinking over the things I’d said in the interview. Evidently, they decided that I was going to be a “food lover” with expensive shoes. Not necessarily inaccurate, but certainly not how I’d describe myself. I was disappointed that they cut out a lot of my funny (at least to me) quotes. During my 30-minute interview, the reporter laughed hysterically when I told her how I blew a fuse and my comment about Rachel Ray. I’d been hoping that some of those lines would make it into the article, but instead I came off sounding shallow and a little snotty. I literally cringed when I read the first line about my being a “stilettos kinda girl.” Yes, I did say that, but it was within the context of explaining how I generally feel more comfortable when I’m dressed up. Also, while I realize that I am in fact from New Jersey, I am fairly confident that I stopped using the word “shady” sometime in the fall of my sophomore year of high school. I believe the actual word I used was “sketchy.”

I think what struck me most about the article is the fact that I learned more about Alfredo from his handful of quotations than I did throughout the course of our date. He explained in his interview that he was trying to “keep it simple,” but would it have not made sense for him, upon learning that I had been to culinary school, to mention that he writes about food and nutrition? Within context, his seemingly freakish obsession with the portion sizes would have seemed less so. He described himself in his questionnaire as a former “super-nice, chubby guy” and mentioned that he’d had his heart broken several times. Now he writes about nutrition and seems horrified by the idea of cleaning off his plate. You don’t need to be a shrink to connect those dots… Looking back at it, it was his refusal to volunteer any information about himself that really made me dislike him. Had he mentioned the food thing or the fact that he had a friend coming in from out of town, I would have understood. But as it was, I was forced to fill in the blanks, and that didn’t work out in his favor.

Overall, the article wasn’t that bad. I think they could have done a better job selecting quotes from my questionnaire and they mixed up the part about my “dream date” with the answer for my “usual physical type,” which again, made me look a little shallow. For the record, my actual answer to that question was:

“Basically, I just want a male version of me—and I want him to look like Dermot Mulroney. Actually, I was watching the movie Prime the other day and totally fell for the guy that Uma Thurman dates in that movie…the cute, quirky wit, sexy boyish looks, NY accent, with an artsy side. I love that. Other options: Mr. Darcy as played by Colin Firth, Cary Grant’s character in The Philadelphia Story.”

At least the picture wasn’t that bad, although I wish I’d had time to straighten my hair. You’ve probably noticed that I added a picture of myself to my blogger profile. I figured that once you’ve been outed by the second largest newspaper in the country there really is no point in grasping for those last few traces of anonymity.

Go check out the article—I’m interested to hear what you guys think about it.