My Epinions

My friends often comment that no matter where they go on the internet they usually find that I've been there first. I'm starting to think that they're right.

Today I was browsing through an old e-mail inbox when I discovered the login info for an Epinions account I'd opened back in 1999. I'd completely forgotten that it existed and my account had actually been deactivated, but I reactivated it in order to read some of my early reviews.

I discovered that 16-year-old Alejandra had strong opinions (particularly about Oprah and her book club), a penchant for completely absurd metaphors, and way too much free time (seriously, what high school sophomore spends her leisure time reviewing electric toothbrushes online?). I also noticed that both magazines that I reviewed have since gone out of print. I certainly hope that I didn't have anything to do with that...

A sampling for your reading pleasure:

The Interplak Family Electric Toothbrush
"Perhaps it was just me and my high expectations; I think I was waiting for sparkling teeth and a tingly fresh feeling, however that is not what I got. It was just like using a wiggly toothbrush only you couldn't control it and make it go where you wanted it to. I also hurt the gums on the left side of my mouth so that they were sore for a good part of the morning. I really don't think that it was worth the money that was spent on it and from now on I am planning on stickingwith my good old Oral B with the flexible handle. At least that one doesn't wiggle and jiggle like an out of control fire hose... All in I would not recommend this brush.

Brill's Content (a magazine)
"I often meander into the nerd section of Barnes and Noble, where they keep the political and literary magazines. One day, as I stood next to a burly tweed-clad gentleman of about 60 who smelled strongly of tobacco, I noticed a magazine that I had never before heard of. It was nestled between Harper's and George, and it looked mildly interesting. I picked it up and began turning the pages of what has quickly become my favorite magazine. The premise behind Brill's Content, is that someone has to watch the media and make sure that it doesn't become too censored and monopolized. When it does, they make it their job to tell us about it. Kind of like the Noam Chomsky of magazines. It's a wonderful publication with informative and well-written articles on little known or little covered stories, opposing viewpoints on debatable issues, humor and much more. It is a very contemporary magazine, similar to George in its writing style and approach, a refreshing departure from the stuffiness and intellectual snobbery of many non-sports-or-women's magazines. It is actually the only publication, apart from the newspaper, that I hold a subscription to. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who is interested in gaining a new and varied perspective from a magazine"

The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
"I've once again fallen into the Oprah trap. I don't quite know how it happened; I really thought that I was stronger than this. However, once again I found myself, egged on by trusted friends and that ubiquitous round "Oprah's Book Club" sticker, standing at the register...That was more than three months ago and I can't seem to get past the first chapter, "Genesis." It is so boring! It goes on and on with endless descriptions of nothing leaving one feeling hot, tired and exhausted, as though one is standing in the middle of the jungle wearing a parka and holding a cup of steaming tea..."

Oprah's Book Club
"Just because Oprah said it's good doesn't mean that it is. I hate how the minute that Oprah deems a book "fabulous"it shoots up the charts and becomes a bestseller. Isn't it sick that this one woman has so much say over what society reads? ...Read books because they interest you, not because they interest Oprah! Look around. Wander through Barnes and Noble or your local independent bookstore. Ask the salespeople for suggestions. Talk to your friends. Read reviews in magazines and newspapers. Don't be afraid to disagree with Oprah or anyone else that recommends a book that you don't find interesting. Don't just read new releases...try the classics: Joyce, Kate Chopin, Salinger, Capote, Bronte, Austen...the list goes on and on and spans hundreds of years. ...I know that you may not agree with me, but that's okay because this is just an opinion...as is Oprah's Book Club. Make your own."

George (a magazine)
"The late John F Kennedy Jr's objective when he created George was to provide a contemporary view of politics for today's generation, and this magazine fulfills his goal beautifully. The articles are clear, humorous, and informative. They offer fresh viewpoints on the usual topics, as well as the offbeat ones. Another plus is the low newsstand price. Many people complain about the general sense of apathy towards the government that many teens and young adults have. I believe that George is a positive step towards eliminating this problem. Another interesting note is the hidden Washington-head on the cover of every issue."

Here on Earth, Alice Hoffman
"There are places in the novel when one conjures up the image of Alice Hoffman typing away at her computer with a very large thesaurus by her side in an effort to appear intelligent. ...For some unknown reason, the novel has been compared to Wuthering Heights. This is an insult to Ms. Bronte. I can't believe that anyone has the nerve to call it a "modern Wuthering Heights". I'm sure that Ms. Bronte must have turned in her grave the first time that she heard that reference to her masterpiece in the same line as this trashy novel."

She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb
"Oprah has bad taste in books."


The review that struck me most was my opinion about whether or not to apply for college "Early Decision." I remembered how determined and motivated I was senior year of high school. I know things get more complicated the older you get, but I'd really love just a little bit of the clarity I had back then:

"I have spent the past three years preparing for college, and I know what I want to do, where I want to go, and since I do...why wait any longer? By December 20 it should be official, but as for now, I already know. I'm going to be accepted, and now I can relax and enjoy my final year at home."

Well done, 17-year-old Alejandra. Well done.