After receiving no fewer than 6 typo-ridden e-mails in one hour with the irritating "Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld" message scrolled across the bottom, I decided that it was time to create a similarly appropriate sign-off for those of us who don't spend all day on the golf course. What started out as a few snarky e-mails between coworkers quickly grew into a rather lengthy list that begged to be shared with the world. So here, friends, is the list compiled with the help of my droll partner-in-crime, Andy, and his ragtag group of very clever friends (who have proved themselves much wittier than my own friends--yeah, you know who you are, you unfunny bastards.)
*note: for those of you who have asked, I am still accepting submissions, but I can only take so many canadian/patent/RIM-job jokes. Seriously, I realize a lot of you guys are lawyers/law students, but to the rest of the world, patent infringement really isn't that funny.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because I don't need fancy electronic equipment to know that I'm better than you.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because I don't want Canadians reading my mail.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because my passenger pigeon's still on his last delivery.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because my Commodore was acting up.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because I'd rather doodle during meetings.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because I refuse to deal with you after 5:00 pm.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because it didn't take a lawsuit and nearly half a billion dollars for this to be okay.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because public blowjobs are still considered "lewd and indecent."
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because it’s easier to harass the interns when you’re actually in the office.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because my boss says I don’t have a face that clients find appealing.
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because if I spend one more weekend in The Hamptons I’m going to lose all sense of perspective.
or simply:
Sent from my Dell desktop -- because I don't have a BlackBerry.
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2 comments:
At least you properly capitalized the second "B" in BlackBerry, or I'd have to sue you for trademark infringement.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless ass.
This blog has changed my life. Today, I burned my BlackBerry wireless (after beating it senseless, leaving it in the hot, direct sun for 10 hours; making it swallow hot coals and then finally defenestrating it).
Thank you, Sent from my Dell Desktop! You're the G-reatest!
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